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Writer's pictureCandice Wray

Why does emotional intelligence matter?



Let’s talk about emotional intelligence. What is it? Simply put, emotional intelligence is one’s ability to manage their own emotions and the emotions of others. Emotional intelligence is not the same as general intelligence. You can be smart but socially awkward. In other words, your intelligence gets you the job but your emotional intelligence helps you to manage stress and social relationships.


Having low emotional intelligence can lead to poor mental health. This is because persons with poor emotional intelligence have a difficult time regulating their feelings and find it difficult to cope with stress. In addition to challenges managing their own emotions, persons with low emotional intelligence also experience challenges managing others. As a result, they are more likely to have poor work relationships and also struggle to maintain healthy relationships outside of work.


What does poor emotional intelligence look like at work?

  • Easily overwhelmed by challenging tasks and deadlines

  • Regular arguments and conflicts with co-workers, clients or managers

  • Impulsive outbursts, emails or phone calls fuelled by anger or frustration

  • Offensive statements without regard for appropriateness of environment

  • Difficulty accepting responsibility for mistakes or failures

  • Isolating or withdrawing from others or not participating in group activities


You guessed it, high emotional intelligence can lead to a more balanced work-life because there is greater self-awareness. These individuals can effectively cope with stress and do not lash out at others. They preserve their social relationships because they adequately manoeuvre their own needs and the needs of others. They are likely to create boundaries but remain generous and empathetic toward others.


So how can you improve your emotional intelligence?

  • Invest in hobbies and activities that relieve stress

  • Engage in mindfulness and meditation

  • Examine how you react in stressful situations and get to know your triggers

  • Examine how your actions affect others

  • Establish clear boundaries

  • Listen with empathy


In some cases, emotional intelligence requires dedicated attention from a mental health service provider, as difficulty regulating emotions can be an indication of deeper issues, such as trauma or other mental health challenges.


What mental health challenges can lead to difficulty controlling your emotions?

  • Post-traumatic stress disorder

  • Disruptive mood regulation disorder

  • Anxiety disorder

  • Attention Deficit-Hyperactivity disorder

  • Bipolar disorder

  • Borderline personality disorder


Mental health challenges due to the environment or genetics can significantly hinder your ability to regulate emotions. The frontal lobe of the brain is the hub of our personality. It controls executive functioning skills such as memory, emotional regulation, planning and organization. Many mental health disorders negatively impact the frontal lobe, resulting in executive function challenges. If you or anyone you know display difficulty with emotional regulation, chances are, you may need professional direction to determine the root cause before you can effectively remedy the situation.

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